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"Banned from the Alma Burger King?" |
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The following account is entirely true.
Wanna hear a Whopper? It's trueI, I, Kenneth R.
Casey, Jr. have been banned from Alma, Michigan Burger
King! At the time this happened in 2000, I was the V.P. of
Information Systems for a local high tech firm. Now, I’ve lived a
fairly decent life. I pay my taxes, try not to speed, I eat lots of
leafy greens – I wouldn’t dream of pulling the tag off my mattress.
So how did somebody like me get banned from the Monarch of Flame
Broiled Salisbury Steaks?
It all started in June of 1999, when my son at the
age of 15 decided he wanted to have it his way, and become a
tax-paying citizen by getting a job at BK. He made a great start and
kept his grades up. He was able to buy many of his own clothes and
behaved very responsibly. We were very proud of our Whopper Junior.
In early 2000, we noticed some disturbing changes
in him, however. His grades began to drop. He became moody. My
special orders began to upset him. As his father, it became my
responsibility to order my errant BK Broiler to get his final Check
’n Tender his resignation.
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Over
time, my son’s behavior worsened in spite of our corrective and
punitive measures. On two occasions, he ran away from home. He
returned once, when he came to his senses. The second time, he was
picked up by the police. While he was gone the second time, we
received information that he’d gone to Burger King to resume his
pickle and lettuce holding career. When I became aware of this, I
called Burger King to talk to the General Manager. When I told him
that my 16 year old did not have his parents’ permission to work
there, his response was, “I’ll take into consideration that you’re
his parents, but we’ll do whatever is in Junior’s best interest.” At
this less than satisfactory response, I became flame broiled enough
to write a letter to Ody Enterprises
of Mt. Pleasant, owner of the franchise, warning them of the
consequences of flouting parental will in their dealings with their
child.
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#1. FILTHIEST PLACE TO EAT:
BURGER KING (According to NBC's
DATELINE NBC
"So which fast food chain finished number one on Dateline’s
dirty dining list? It’s Burger King. The 100 Burger Kings we
sampled rang up a whopping 241 total critical violations.
Health inspectors cited a Virginia Burger King for 14 separate
critical violations: employees not washing their hands,
uncovered food in the fridge, grime and debris found on the
ice chute and on the drink machine at the drive-thru window.
We observed one employee scooping ice into a cup with his bare
hands, an apparent critical violation." |
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After picking my son up at the police station, he
confessed that he had worked the very evening after I spoke to the
Big King, Mr. Odykirk. We
had already been told prior to this by another parent of a fellow
employee of our son that another manager at BK had been buying
liquor for the underage employees who wanted to drink. Under duress,
even my son confessed, “Dad, he lettuce get pickled...”
The Alma police had told me that unless they
caught this manager in the very act of buying them liquor, there was
little they could do. It didn’t matter that there were three boys
who could testify to his providing it for him. At this point, I
realized it would take two hands to handle this whopper. I
immediately turned the car around and made straightway for the Alma
Burger King. I told my wife and son to come into the store with me.
We asked if the Big Fish were there. He wasn’t. We then asked if the
Jalapeno Popper who bought my son liquor was there. He was. When he
appeared, I turned to the Sunday after church crowd and announced.
“Ladies and Gentleman, may I have your attention?” Then, pointing at
the quivering Chicken Tender, I announced, “This man has been buying
our underage children alcoholic beverages. These are the kind of
people running this establishment you are frequenting.” I then
thanked them for their kind attention, and with a final warning to
the manager that I and other parents would be watching him now, we
left the store.
Call me naive, but I might have thought I was due
an apology. Ody Enterprise’s response was instead to issue
instructions to the manager who then alerted my son that I was
banned from the store.
Gee, I McWonder McWhere the Caseys McGo to eat now?
☺
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